Reasonable Expectations

Satisfaction may require accepting some things as they are.
There is a verse called the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." This is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr.

To accomplish what this verse states requires that we be fully engaged in the living of our life. That requires awareness. There is no question that some things cannot be changed. Satisfaction demands that we become cognizant of what these things are.

We can each choose our battles in life. Some are worth fighting and others are not. Wisdom is the ability to determine which battles are simply not worth the fight. However, in life, some are really committed to being "right." That position can be a major source of dissatisfaction.

Reasonable expectations and satisfaction
I recently posted on HOA owner dis-satisfaction and the fact that statistics indicate that while most HOA owners are happy living in their homeowners association, it is also true the some are unhappy, and a few are very unhappy.

What I am unaware of is similar statistics for single residence homeowner satisfaction levels. However, from practical experience I do know that there are single residence homeowners out there who are not completely satisfied.

Satisfaction may be the consequence of maintaining perspective and conscious effort. It may also require living a life of moderation. Conscious effort in a HOA includes being an aware owner. Being constructive implies an owner who contributes via committee or board to the success of the HOA. However, board members may not be the most satisfied owners in a HOA. Board members deal with all of the negatives in a HOA and at times become the target of other owners.

At the other side of the spectrum are the owners for whom "ignorance is bliss." It's possible that the most un-involved are the happiest! However, I can also say from experience that is not necessarily so. Some of the least involved have been the meanest! I don't consider chronic complaints as "involvement." Such things are frequently the venting or rage of the individual, or seeking an outlet for pent-up frustrations. Boards are supposed to listen to owners, so there Ya go! A built in outlet for the dissatisfied individual AND a captive audience. What could be better? Venting might provide a temporary emotional release, but more often than not it can result in remorse or dissatisfaction.

This post will look at satisfaction in a realistic manner. While directed to HOA owners, this applies to most of us no matter where we live.

The causes of happiness and unhappiness are not entirely the consequence of action or inaction on the part of boards and HOAs. I can't say why some in our HOA are happy and others are bitter or unhappy. Most of our owners prefer to be un-involved. This means that they pay their fees,  keep the rules and avoid HOA meetings. They don't belong to any neighbors group. In other words, no one knows precisely what they like about BLMH, or what they may dislike. The fact that they are invisible implies they are satisfied. But to what extent no one can say. It is also possible that they are unhappy but prefer not to complain.

For satisfaction and service.
Owners pay fees for the purpose of covering operating & maintenance tasks, building reserves and to make-up for the noncollectable debts of owners who have foreclosed and broken their contractual agreement with the HOA.

One of the dissatisfaction traps I've seen is owners who think "I paid my fees and I'm not getting my monies worth."  If an owner is involved and attends HOA meetings regularly they will become more aware of the "big picture." Our HOA newsletter is more substantial than in the past. However, each HOA meeting spans about 2 hours. It's a busy meeting and it should be apparent that it is impossible to cram four hours of meetings into six annual, 4-page newsletters. Attending HOA meetings also provides owners with the opportunity to be aware of the decision making process.

I'm of the opinion that it's far more satisfying to be aware of what is getting done than to focus on what is not. That's a motivation for a board to provide a newsletter that includes a lot of information. It should be a motivation for owners to be aware of what is really going on. Sometimes that knowledge may not be pretty, but it does address the question "Where is the money going?" Most of the time, ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance, a lack of awareness of the facts, can lead to fear or anger.

If we are aware of what our fees include and what they do not, then we are more likely to be satisfied with the knowledge that the money our HOA takes from us via fees is really being put to use. One may argue about what is most important, but let's be realistic, shall we? Inflation, which includes increases in the cost of electricity, water, materials, insurance, labor, etc. is usually between 2% and 4% per year. Being aware of this fact alone, should provide a measure of satisfaction that HOA fees with increases between 0% and 4% annually are "reasonable."

Of course, here at BLMH we have 336 owners and there is a real range of opinions about how money should be spent. I'm assuming most owners have the empathetic ability to allow money to be spent everywhere in the HOA and not simply on their "view" or building. Nevertheless, I challenge anyone to make the general comment that money is being "wasted."

If one wants to be satisfied, it's better to look at the big picture rather than pet peeves and use these as the basis for the argument "The world is screwed up." I'm not making the "glass half full versus glass half empty" argument. I'm making the distinction that it is not a good perspective that the entire HOA, the city or the planet is a mess because my trash wasn't picked up this morning by 8 AM, or someone put a POD on the driveway down the street.

Satisfaction and Personal Likes, or Dislikes. 
Trust is also a requirement. If we are mistrustful, or dislike someone, then it may be impossible to achieve a reasonable level of satisfaction. Satisfaction may require us to look beyond pettiness and opinions and be aware of what is really occurring.

If boards were not able to do this, they would be unable to get anything done because the members simply couldn't work together. So it is with owners. Satisfaction with boards requires looking at the larger picture.

Life is not a popularity contest. We don't need to like our neighbors to experience satisfaction. All we need to do is be willing to co-exist, decide what is most important and then live our lives from that place and consistent with our beliefs. With neighbors and boards, respect is required. Admiration and like or dis-like is not a requirement for satisfaction.

Mutual respect is useful. However, owners need to keep in mind that unless they are members of the crew, which is to say the HOA board, then they are primarily observers on this ship called BLMH, or whatever the name of your HOA is. Passengers don't get to steer the ship.

Satisfaction and Property Values
Some look at their net worth as a source of satisfaction. Somewhat like King Midas of old. Wiser people know that we cannot purchase happiness. We can buy things, but these depreciate or rapidly become junk, or last year's fad. We can buy political allies, but their alignment changes with the wind or the cash. We may be able to buy friends, but that too is not very satisfying if we are interested in friendship rather than an acquiring an entourage.

Where do you think true satisfaction lies?

Purchasing a personal piece of residential real estate has one primary purpose, which is to provide a place to live. Anyone who purchases primarily as an investment may be making a mistake, unless the purpose is income property. However, it is important to realize that making money in condominiums requires good tenants, good boards and good luck.

Condominiums usually have a lot of on site owners. In other words, a lot of people purchase a condo to have a place to live. Their primary motivation isn't making a profit. So they expect the HOA to be maintained.  For those who see the primary purpose of a condominium as a means to make a profit, maintaining the property may be a source of dissatisfaction.

It's a good idea to choose a HOA in which the owners have similar views on this. It is easy to determine the number of rental units. When a HOA goes beyond 50% that would be a signal of the direction the wind is blowing. However, here at BLMH a B-unit rental can fetch $1,455 per month in rental income. But that figure is only achievable in a well maintained unit in a well maintained HOA.

Most experts recommend realistic fees for the purpose of maintaining the association property. A well maintained property is also most likely to get the best price at time of sale.  Boards are required by statute to maintain the property. A former treasurer made the statement a few years ago that she "didn't want to live in a slum." Her point was that she expected the property to be maintained. However, the condition of the individual unit does have a significant influence on sale price.

If an owner wants to sell at top dollar there are a number of factors. Market conditions, the condition of the unit and the condition of the HOA all play a part. Satisfaction as a seller requires recognizing these factors and accepting those we have influence upon and the condition of our unit.

Satisfaction requires recognizing the realities of condominium living
It is a condominium. At BLMH there are 44 buildings and about 15 acres of turf, streets, streams and outside lighting to be maintained. There are 336 units with resident owners and the tenants of remote owners. The pot gets spent on everything from exterior maintenance including painting, to driveway repair or replacement, street replacement, water mains and snow removal.

BLMH is not a retirement home, or a resort. It was built nearly 40 years ago and has stairs, steps, etc. It is in generally the same condition as it was when each and owner purchased a unit. In fact, it's impossible to get into or out of a unit without stepping up or down. These things are the way the HOA was built. While it is true that some steps are being removed on walks as part of normal maintenance, this work is being done only at the time of scheduled maintenance. There are not funds for conversion of the property to something other than it currently is.

Living in a HOA in which most buildings have two entrances and contain 8-units requires close proximity to neighbors. There will be someone on the other side of that wall. There may be someone downstairs or below. If one wants absolute solitude and dominion over their "home", then a condominium is the worst possible choice. That is why single residences were built, in which "A man's home is his castle." If one demands absolute dominion, then one needs to own their own land.

Satisfaction requires awareness of what a HOA is and what it is not.  It also requires the ability to accept the realities. In a sometimes intolerant society, condominium living may be impossible for a few.

Satisfaction requires some financial planning
If we want to be satisfied, we'd better have a grip on the real cost of living. Satisfaction requires knowing what our income is, what our necessary expenses are and what our discretionary expenses are. We'd better have a plan for retirement that goes beyond "I'll never retire" or "I'll retire early at 55."

Satisfaction demands that we be accountable for the financial consequences of our actions. We each make choices every day. The consequences of those choices will accumulate. For example, we can save each year for an emergency fund, we can save a portion of our income for our retirement, and after we pay ourselves first we can then spend what remains on the necessities of life. Anything else goes for the toys, vacations, and other discretionary things.

A failure to do these things may lead to financial unhappiness later in life.

Satisfaction may require that we realize our place in the world. 
Our egos may place us as the most important person on this planet of 7 billion, or 318 million in the U.S. However, we are each merely one more mouth to be fed using the resources of the planet.

This can be difficult for some and impossible for others to accept.

Satisfaction will be greater if we do understand our real lack of importance. While it may be true that we each do make a difference, it is also so that the world will spin just fine without us.

In a few years I too will be gone, to join my ancestors. I think I'll be much happier if I realize that life is short, there is very limited time to accomplish whatever we will do while on the planet and when I am gone few will be even aware of my passing.

If I find it impossible to accept the community in which I live, then it becomes a necessity of personal satisfaction to move to one in which I will be satisfied. If I don't know where that is, then it is my personal responsibility to find it, rather than attempting to change the others in my community to accept my values. In modern society, I realize that what I am promoting is heresy. After all, everyone else should accommodate my wants, needs and desires.

However, if I want to achieve satisfaction in my life, it might be best if I adapt to the reality and mores of my community. If that is impossible, then it is time to move elsewhere.