Why I May Not Be a Good Fit For BLMH

I've concluded that the problem might be that I'm not a good fit for the mores at BLMH. In other words, it really is my problem and I may not belong here. The definition of "mores" is "the essential or characteristic customs and conventions of a community."  Some of us really don't belong and I may be one of those.

Here's an excerpt from a recent post elsewhere which may provide a glimpse into my perspective, and why I have a concern that I really am living in the wrong community; one which is not a good fit for that community or for me. Somewhat like attempting to mix "oil and water."

Posted elsewhere on June 1, 2014
"On Friday, May 30 I received a call from a client. It seems their production facility had experienced a massive breakdown. They requested that I come to the facility on the following Monday, Memorial Day. Apparently they could not ship any product and needed to resolve the issue before shipments resumed on Tuesday morning. A team would be available as of 3am to begin remedial action. 

Okay I said. So on Monday (Memorial Day) I arrived at the facility at 7:15am as agreed. I began looking into the problem, but after a number of tests and trials I concluded that a critical part had failed, a spare was not available and I could not fix this. However, [it was determined that] shipments could and would resume in the morning using an alternative means of material transfer. 

After concluding this, and after discussing with remote (400 mile distant) management what was essential to get this problem resolved I was given their blessings and I prepared to leave for the day. (There is always a way).

While wrapping it up, a worker at the facility (a 20 something; aka a "Millennial") asked me a few questions about my life and in particular, why I had bothered to respond and was there on a holiday Monday. I replied that this was, in fact, my 51st year of employment, but I had somewhat serious and unusual skills and so I felt it was appropriate to provide these when asked. In this case, there was no alternative. He then asked about my spouse. I said that she was on year off of employment, while she dealt with some health issues. However, she really, really wanted to get back to work. 

At that point, I was told "You people are weird." 

I laughed and explained that it had taken 50 years of constant effort for me to get to this point in my life, which included having the particular skills I possess. I don't think he understood at all, but he will learn. 

On Tuesday I was on site at 7:15am, UPS Red overnight early morning arrived on site at 7:30am with the necessary part. A technician installed it and voila, shipments resumed at 8:30am. 

Yes, there is a strata in society and there is a difference, which some now declare to be an "inequality." As I like to explain to people, I have worked continuously and diligently for 50 years to hone my skills. Where I am today was not an accident. It took some luck, a lot of very hard work and many, many good decisions and some sacrifices.

That may be weird. "

My Reply To Comments To the Above in a Thread Posted on June 3, 2014     
"I would take it a step further and suggest that we be "true to ourselves." To do so requires discovering who we are and what our purposes might be. In my experience it takes a lifetime to do this. It also requires some courage of conviction to act in accordance with what we discover. One could say we are operating consistent with our integrity. To do otherwise we are disloyal to ourselves and untrue. 

I've striven to be true to myself and it is taking a lifetime to work the kinks out. I've used work as the playing field because like it or not, I concluded I would spend at least 40 years working. So why not put that time to good use? I began "working" in 1963, but I started my first real business in 1978, after one aborted attempt in 1966. I have worked in companies of my own creation ever since. However, no matter if I was the President, I always considered what I was doing to be work, and I always describe it as so. I always wore two hats, and I seldom used the business card that had my corporate title on it. I used the other one, the one that described my role in systems and process control. I never hesitated to get into the production plants and did spend time literally in the trenches (actually, they were ditches). It is true that some thought I was a bit odd, but there are many paths to empowerment. 

.....it is also true that I've got thousands of hours of learning and training under my belt. Some was formal, some was via focus coursework, some was book learning and a lot was by doing. Getting an education while working was one way to pack more into the day, although some of those days were really long. 

I've worked at three companies other than the ones in which I was a major stakeholder. But by 1978 I decided that my third employer would be the last in which I was merely an employee and that I was ready to move on, and so I embarked into creating my first true business. That was 36 years ago. It was a post recession dole-drum. It was very difficult. The economy sucked, but that was why I ventured forth in the first place. Banks were useless and so I had to be very creative and was internally funded until 1984, at which time we finally moved out of the 1980's recessions.

We were an industrial automation firm and so we purchased and used all sorts of high tech gear in systems we programmed and assembled, providing sensors, computers, controllers, software, actuators, commissioning, training, etc. etc. To minimize risk I made it a point to test everything in the real world and so we built entire systems in the shop and ran them. "Smoke and mirrors" was rampant. Nevertheless, even after testing and so on the firm found itself on the "bleeding edge" from time to time as things didn't always go as planned. Our designs included various margins for error or unknowns in the event the impossible happened. Determining what the weak links might be and then providing for that gave great insight. Everything that was learned was applied. I was and continue to be a continuous, incremental improvement buff, and people do make the difference. 

Some of those systems continued to perform reliably for 20 years, and were performing leading edge, state of the art at the time they were retired. Some continue today, after 30 years. 

It was all very challenging and there were real financial risks. Invention is not a precise science, and the things that we use don't always work reliably. It was challenging to select and build on technologies that would be maintainable and reliable for 20+ years while performing sophisticated tasks. There are unknowns and that means cost overruns, time overruns, breakdowns and so on. My annual pay was less than that of my administrative assistant during difficult times. Fortunately for me, it was never, ever about the money. Money was simply another tool and it is the long term averages that count, or to say it differently, the area under the curve. I established a reputation for integrity. What is that? We did what we said we would do for what we said it would cost and we delivered on time. In other words, those production plants went into operation as planned. If there were issues we made it right. That hurt but there is no lesson learned like the one that stings. It goes deep, deeper than short-term memory. I gets into the sinews and to one's core. 

So why did I do it? To be true to myself and to achieve my real potential. I also wanted to see the results of my labors. I provided a real opportunity to some talented people who become even more talented as time passed. We all grew and got better. We made a difference and we saw with our very eyes that difference. It was tangible and real. Our clients businesses improved, the conditions for their workers improved. Safety improved. There really is something to be said about conceiving, designing, installing and then training others to use a sophisticated product which leverages their talents. 

Why do I continue to work today? So I can continue to grow, develop and make a difference. True, there are financial benefits, but my fees are reasonable. 

Yes, there are other things to do and there are benefits to volunteering and so I do that also. But in my experience, too many volunteers view their tasks as a hobby. There is sometimes no need for urgency. Nevertheless, there can be a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. 

Looking back, do I have regrets? Yes I do, and they have been very useful. They and various failures possibly made a greater impact than the successes. They did show the way to some transformative decisions. The regrets don't run me, I think I'll probably die worn out and that's something I can live with.

For my younger worker, I think what made him think of me as "weird" was the realization that I was there and working on that holiday as pure choice. I suspect, based on his comments that he had difficulty understanding why I was there as I had no real need. In time I think he'll figure it out. Eventually we all do. Hopefully we do so earlier than later. "